One of the many things I pride myself in is my need for glasses. I spent hours in a dark room staring at a bright computer screen, seldom blinking, to earn these Kenneth-Cole tokens of nerd-dom. It saddens me to see people trying to fake their way into the Spectacles Collective. If you want to be able to sport some specs, do it the right way. If I were you, I’d even take it to next level: the eye patch. Nothing says, “I’m a hip-hop hipster that knows what goes,” like a robust eye patch. You could probably even convince people that you’re a member of the Elite Pirate Alliance (EPA).